Good Morning, Hula Girl! Silent Struggles: How Mental and Emotional Abuse Impacts Women’s and Girls’ Mental Health

Good morning, Hula Girl! 🌸

Today’s post is one that weighs heavy on my heart, but it’s a conversation we need to have. We often talk about physical abuse, but mental and emotional abuse can be just as damaging—sometimes even more so because the scars are hidden. It’s the pain we carry inside, the thoughts that echo in our minds, and the wounds that aren’t visible to the world.

Maybe you’ve noticed it yourself, or maybe you’ve seen it in others:

• The woman who constantly apologizes, even when she’s done nothing wrong.
• The girl who can’t accept compliments, no matter how many times she hears them.
• The friend who breaks down in the smallest disagreements or needs to “escape” to find peace.
• The woman who never asks for help because she’s used to doing everything alone.

These aren’t just habits or quirks. They are the symptoms of someone who’s been through mental and emotional abuse—someone who has carried blame that wasn’t theirs, someone who has been stripped of their confidence and made to feel less than enough.

Understanding the Impact of Mental and Emotional Abuse

Mental and emotional abuse can take many forms: manipulation, gaslighting, constant criticism, isolation, and more. The effects can be devastating and long-lasting, especially when endured over a prolonged period.

Today’s Reflection:

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
(Psalm 34:18)

This verse reminds us that even when we feel unseen in our pain, God is near. For those who have been hurt by emotional and mental abuse, healing is possible—but it requires time, compassion, and the right support.

The Signs of Mental and Emotional Abuse in Women

1. Apologizing Excessively:
   Women who have endured mental abuse often apologize for things that aren’t their fault. This behavior stems from being blamed unfairly in the past. They’ve learned to apologize quickly to avoid further conflict or criticism, even when they are not in the wrong.

2. Struggling to Accept Compliments:
   No matter how many times she hears that she’s beautiful, smart, or strong, the woman who has been emotionally abused often can’t believe it. Why? Because abuse has chipped away at her self-worth, and her brain rejects the idea that she is valuable or deserving of praise.

3. Breaking Down in Small Conflicts:
   Tiny arguments can feel like massive emotional earthquakes to someone who has been emotionally abused. It’s not that she can’t handle conflict—it’s that her nervous system has been conditioned to expect emotional chaos, and small disagreements trigger a flood of fear and insecurity.

4. Needing Constant Emotional Reassurance:
   Emotional security becomes her highest priority because she’s lived through instability and manipulation. She may seek constant reassurance, not because she’s needy, but because she needs to feel safe after having her emotional foundation shaken.

5. Avoiding Asking for Help:
   Women who’ve survived emotional abuse often avoid asking for help. They’ve been taught, either directly or indirectly, that they are alone in their struggles. Asking for help might have been met with criticism or dismissal, so they learn to rely on themselves—even when they’re overwhelmed.

The Facts: What Studies Show About Emotional and Mental Abuse

• Trauma Impacts Brain Function:
  Studies show that emotional abuse can alter brain function, particularly in areas that deal with emotion regulation and decision-making. The prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logical thinking, and the amygdala, the brain’s emotional center, are often affected by prolonged stress and trauma, making it harder for survivors to cope with stress and conflict.

• Increased Risk of Mental Health Issues:
  According to the American Psychological Association, women who have experienced emotional or psychological abuse are at a higher risk of developing anxiety, depression, PTSD, and low self-esteem. In fact, research indicates that emotional abuse can be just as harmful to a woman’s mental health as physical abuse.

• Trust Issues and Social Withdrawal:
  Women who have endured emotional abuse often develop trust issues and may withdraw from social relationships, finding it difficult to connect with others due to past betrayal or manipulation. Studies have found that abuse survivors tend to isolate themselves, making it harder to seek support.

• Children Are Not Immune:
  Emotional and mental abuse doesn’t just affect adults. Girls who grow up in abusive environments are more likely to carry these issues into adulthood, struggling with self-worth, trust, and emotional stability as they form relationships later in life.

A Prayer for Healing:

Dear Lord,
We pray for every woman and girl who has been scarred by emotional and mental abuse. Heal their hearts, restore their strength, and help them rebuild their trust. Surround them with people who offer love, support, and reassurance. May they come to know their worth and feel empowered to live their lives fully and freely. In Your name, we pray. Amen.

Let’s Start a Conversation:

I know this is a heavy topic, but it’s one that needs to be shared. If you or someone you know has experienced mental and emotional abuse, please know that you are not alone. You deserve healing, love, and the freedom to trust again.

Have you struggled with any of these signs? Do you want to share your story or offer support to someone else? Let’s create a safe space in the comments below to uplift and encourage one another.

Here’s to Healing, Rebuilding Trust, and Embracing Our Worth.

Blessing & Love: Brittni Lea
Founder of Hula Girls Hideaway